Core Development

by Donald Marmara

My Personal Struggle with Depression and Anxiety

I was chronically depressed and anxious as a teenager and in my early twenties. From the age of fourteen I was prescribed anti-depressants, tranquillisers and sleeping pills. I was told that I would be dependent on medication for the rest of my life –the dosages of the drugs I was prescribed were constantly increasing and I was doing nothing to get to the cause of my condition.

At the time, I knew no better – nor did the doctors who prescribed the medication. They were doing the best they could to help me – and as there was nobody available to help me understand what was causing my depression and anxiety and how to deal with it effectively, they probably saved my life.

When I was 24 years old, I decided to move from my country of origin, and I emigrated to London. Something in me was telling me that there had to be a better way than taking progressively stronger and larger doses of medication to keep me sane, but I didn’t know what to do about it and I was terrified of missing even one dose of the medication that I had become so totally dependent on.

My Road To Recovery

Through a series of apparent coincidences I came across a form of psychotherapy that was based on the understanding that disappointments, fears and other emotional injuries and unfinished business are stored in the body as chronic tensions in our muscles, organs and energy fields.

This form of therapy used a combination of methods to enable me to understand the part I could play in changing my life. It helped me understand the connection between my mind, body and emotions, and this understanding was experiential and not just intellectual.

This means that I was able to feel and experience first-hand what was happening in my body and mind. The difference between intellectual understanding and experiential understanding is like the difference between learning the theory behind driving a car and actually experiencing driving it.

Intellectual understanding is helpful but not enough – in fact many people who suffer from anxiety and depression understand what’s happening intellectually but find themselves unable to use this knowledge to help themselves.

At first I was sceptical, but I was desperate enough to try anything, so I joined an ongoing therapy group and within three months I was able to come off the medication without falling apart.

I had a difficult time readjusting and taking my life back into my own hands, but within a year I had already experienced so much change that I decided to train in this form of therapy so that I could help myself more and also help others transform their lives.

So How Can You Help Yourself?

First of all, you need to know and acknowledge that you’re not to blame for feeling anxious or depressed. Unfortunately a high proportion of people in our society feel that way, because we live in a culture that does not always understand and support our biological needs.

Secondly – it helps to understand that conflict lies at the heart of both anxiety and depression. The best way to discover the particular conflict that underlies your condition is to cultivate awareness, particularly body awareness. This will lead you to a direct experience rather than an intellectual understanding of the underlying processes.

It would be easy to say to you – “don’t get discouraged” – but it is only natural to feel discouraged when you’re depressed or anxious. What can help is to know that, even though the going will be tough sometimes and you will feel discouraged and want to give up, there is a way through and persistence does work.

Having said all this, it can be very difficult to deal successfully with depression and anxiety without professional help. This is not to discourage you, but rather to encourage you to seek help when you need it, as indeed I have done, to overcome very unpleasant and painful situations and regain your health, wellbeing and passion for life. In most cases a significant part of the conflict causing anxiety and depression is unconscious, and requires the help of an experienced practitioner to resolve adequately.

Another problem with anxiety and depression is that we often find it really difficult to do what we know is good for us. Here again is where an experienced practitioner – one who has been through it himself or herself – can be of great help.

Seeking help is a sign of strength not weakness – in fact the cultural notion that you should be able to go it alone and that asking for help is a sign of weakness, is an attempt to compensate for feelings of inadequacy.

Not only is it a sign of strength and emotional maturity to seek professional help under these circumstances, it is also a way of achieving a better quality of life more effectively, and of avoiding unnecessary pain and hardship.

Depression and anxiety are bad enough in themselves – unfortunately if maintained over prolonged periods they can result in many serious illnesses and premature ageing, as well as having a destructive effect on relationships.

Here’s what one of my clients had to say :

“About six months ago I started to feel very concerned that there wasn’t a day when I woke up feeling “well”. I had lost my zest and couldn’t remember the last time I had a good laugh and felt happy.

It was either take that scary step forward and do something about it or I might as well curl up and die. That’s when Donald came into my life.

With his genuine care, support and reassurance I am bit by bit unloading the excess baggage (those ‘negative’ unexpressed emotions that were eating away at my being).

The real me is starting to emerge and laugh again and I am more in control of my life and decisions.

Thank you Donald for your patience and encouragement. You have probably helped to save my life” D.D., Melbourne, Vic.

Is it not wise, therefore, to take whatever action is necessary to get yourself back on track to a state of health, happiness and passion for life?

If you want to regain your health,wellbeing,and passion for life,call 02 9413 9794 or 0412 178 234