Changing Perspectives : Beyond Winning And Losing

“Winning is a loser’s game!”

How do you respond to the statement above?

Do you find yourself agreeing or disagreeing right away?  Or do you stop to think about it?

What is your feeling response?  Are you surprised, irritated, amused, pleased?

What is your bodily response?  Do you sigh?  Do you nod or shake your head?

What happens to your facial expression?  What is your tone of voice when you talk about it? read more

Somatic Psychotherapy and Counselling for Parents, Educators and People Who Support Others

PEOPLE WHO SUPPORT OTHERS NEED SUPPORT TOO!

Parents, Educators, Social Workers, Doctors, Nurses, Paramedics and Practitioners in the Healing Professions.

Are YOU getting the support you need?
Are YOUR needs being met?

I don’t need to explain how damaging stress can be, how it can undermine your immune system and cause you irritability, pain, and discomfort in the short term, and serious illness in the long term. read more

Why Is There So Much Violence In The World Today?

Are We Missing The Point And Making Things Worse?

Fear is what anxiety and depression, wars, domestic violence, relationship breakdowns, child abuse, terrorism, mass shootings, self-harm and all forms of violence towards oneself and others have in common. They are all a result of fear.

In the latter part of this article, I describe  two very simple exercises, well known to many psychotherapists, that could transform the way we relate and communicate. And in my article on “Dealing With Your Emotions”, I explain why I believe these methods are not more widely used .
read more

Does Behaviour Management Really Work?

We all need support in getting our needs met. When a child’s behaviour does not meet our expectations, is it helpful to use Behaviour Management Techniques?

This article is not meant as a criticism of parents and others who may be using a behaviour management approach. On the contrary, I have no doubt that you love your children and are doing your best to help them. read more

Success, failure and Motivation Part 1: What’s Driving You?

SUCCESS FAILURE & MOTIVATION

Part I: What’s driving you?  Could it be your Fear?

Motivating ourselves and others by Fear seems to dominate all areas of our lives. Have we forgotten what we really want?
This article reflects on the question: Where is all this taking us?

Every action is motivated by the desire to move TOWARDS or AWAY FROM  something or someone.There is an important difference in the way these two forces work. read more

Help with Depression, Anxiety and Stress. The Person or the Condition?

It’s good to remind ourselves not to see and relate to people – children and adults – through the filter of a label, however correct we may think the label is.

Some time ago I had the opportunity of working with a woman in her late 20s. She was diagnosed as chronically depressed, and stuck in a junior position in her company because they said she was a slow learner with poor communication skills and no good at working in a team. read more

Body Language in Relationships

The aim of this article is to help you discover from your own experience how being aware of body language can help you understand yourself and others better. This will also help you deal more effectively with your emotions, and improve your communication skills.

This can enhance your effectiveness in relationships in general, and is particularly important for both psychotherapist and client in processes such as Counselling and Psychotherapy. It may also help you understand how some of your current conflicts may have their origin in childhood. read more

Do You Have To Be Mentally Ill To Benefit From Counselling And Psychotherapy?

Counselling and Psychotherapy are powerful tools for personal and social change.

They enable us to resolve emotional issues that are preventing us from being happy with ourselves and our lives, and from having fulfilling relationships.

They can also be helpful in cases where physical problems are caused or aggravated by emotional stress. Somatic or Body Psychotherapy can be especially helpful in this respect. read more

Listening To Your Teenager

A girl was sitting on her own in the school playground. I walked up to her and said “Are you OK? You look sad”.

She replied “It’s my birthday tomorrow”.

“Why does that make you sad?” I asked

”I’m getting a bicycle”

“Don’t you want a bicycle?”

“No I don’t want a bicycle. I want my dad to spend the day with me”    read more

How to Learn the Language of Emotions

To learn the language of emotions, we need to understand that emotions are not logical, and cannot be communicated meaningfully in logical terms alone.

You can tell someone “I feel down” or “I feel great” in three simple words. Telling them exactly how and why can be far more challenging, especially when you might not even know yourself. read more