So many arguments and discussions, whether in politics, religion, personal relationships, work and everyday life, attempt to deal logically with emotional issues.
When the emotional charge is high, logic has no impact. If anything it can act as an avoidance of the underlying issues, and make things worse. Or it can appear to make sense but nothing actually changes.
Often the emotional charge is the elephant in the room – we pretend it’s not there, we ignore it or deceive ourselves, consciously or unconsciously, into believing we’re dealing with it.
We need to deal with the emotional charge first – the hurt, the fear, the frustration, anger, and all the powerful pent-up emotions to make way for meaningful interactions. We need to listen to what’s behind the words, what’s actually being communicated.
And that’s not easy because our own emotions get in the way! It’s a big ask, and it’s necessary for meaningful change. To do this, to really listen, we need to suspend judgement, at least temporarily, and “to walk two miles in the other person’s mocassins”
We need to re-open our hearts, but who wants to open their heart when they’ve been wounded? We need to hear the call for help that’s so often disguised in logical arguments and/or political rhetoric.
A big ask, yes. It’s not easy, and it’s necessary. Until we do that the saying that History repeats itself will continue to be true. To quote Bob Dylan “When will they(we) ever learn?”
In my work I combine what I learnt from different modalities, my own personal therapy and my life experience to enable you to safely open your heart, and to deal effectively with your emotions.
Then you can have the clarity you need to resolve any issues that may be preventing you from having a more fulfilling life.
Donald Marmara created Core Development – a process of change and personal growth developed from his professional training and 35 years’ experience in somatic (body) psychotherapy, counselling and structural dynamics.
Core development adopts a flexible approach, recognising that what works for one person may not work for another.
He can be contacted on 0412 178 234.