by Donald Marmara, Emotional and Somatic Learning Facilitator, Core Development Sydney
Most of us are not terribly good at dealing with our emotions, let alone speaking about them. How do we find the right words, and be sensitive yet honest when talking about our own and other people’s emotions? Is it always appropriate to be honest about what we really feel?
Personal development and somatic and emotional learning are powerful processes for individual and social change. They enable us to navigate everyday life challenges that prevent us from feeling happy with ourselves, and support us in building fulfilling, cooperative relationships.
These learning sessions can also be valuable when physical fatigue or bodily tension is aggravated by daily life stress. Looking at the mind-body connection from an experiential learning perspective is especially helpful in this respect.
When you feel nervous, overwhelmed, or stuck, your first instinct is probably to try and “fix” the feeling. You might seek out strategies to minimize it, look for quick distractions, or try to rationalise your way out of the discomfort.
But what if that difficult emotion isn’t something to be fixed at all?What if it is actually trying to tell you something crucial about your life?
Is Emotional and Bodily Tension a Sign That Something is Wrong With You?
Donald Marmara, Core Development Sydney
How we view everyday stress, worry, or moments of feeling stuck depends on the lens we use. From a somatic and emotional learning perspective, these challenging moments are often signs that your inner system is functioning exactly as it should. Your body and mind are drawing attention to an unexamined internal conflict or a need for adjustment.
I’ve been to many networking events, workshops and seminars that place so much emphasis on being extraordinary that I’d come out feeling that there must be something very wrong with me for not aspiring to reach the dizzy heights of extraordinariness(!) that these people claim to have achieved.
When I was 18 years old, I was a good amateur table-tennis player. I never made it to a final, but I made it to a semifinal and a number of quarterfinals.
In the first round of a national competition I was drawn against a player who had one leg shorter than the other and consequently limped and was unable to move fast.
I DON’T THINK THE WORLD IS CHANGING IN THE WAY I’D LIKE IT TO.
In these times of upheaval, confusion and anxiety, however, I think it may be useful to consider this:
“There is beauty all around us, only for so many people it is buried and perhaps obscured by fear, hurt, frustration, anger, hopelessness, confusion…….
A wise old owl sat in an oak,The more she saw, the less she spoke. The less she spoke, the more she heard. Why can’t we be like this wise old bird?
In the mid-1980’s I served an apprenticeship with a Native American medicine man, Sun Bear.
When I introduced Sun Bear to an audience, I said:
There are different ways to listen. One way is to listen with your head, to try to understand, explain, interpret, evaluate and take notes.
I had an interesting conversation with an eight year old girl.
I picked her up from school. When I asked her how her day was she replied “I’m having a sad day today”
I asked her what was making her sad and she replied “I think I’m stupid”.
What makes you think that? – I asked.
Yet as a society, we seem to be going around in never-ending circles, dealing with violence rather than with the underlying causes. Often we meet violence with violence. The hunger in the stomach, our physical, emotional, and spiritual needs, are not being met.
In his book “Fear of Life”, Alexander Lowen writes: “We are like the inmates of a mental institution who must accept its inhumanity and insensitivity as caring and knowledgeable to be regarded as sane enough to leave.”
