Category: Reflections

The Most Important Aspect Of Psychotherapy

THE TASK OF A THERAPIST IS TO START WITH NOT KNOWING
What works for one person does not necessarily work for another.

Our tasks as psychotherapists is first of all to put aside all our knowledge and theories and to listen. To embark on a journey of discovery. To discover what the person we are working with needs. read more

Counselling, Somatic Psychotherapy and Emotional Healing: Reflections

PERHAPS IT”S TIME TO STOP FIGHTING AND START LISTENING.

Not listening in order to convince others that we’re right and they are wrong, but listening to understand, listening to empathize.

Perhaps its time to remember that our humanity unites us all. We may have conflicting beliefs and strong feelings, but underneath all this we are all human beings. read more

CONVERSATION WITH AN EIGHT-YEAR-OLD GIRL

I had an interesting conversation with an eight year old girl.

I picked her up from school. When I asked her how her day was she replied “I’m having a sad day today”

I asked her what was making her sad and she replied “I think I’m stupid”.

What makes you think that? – I asked. read more

ANXIETY, DEPRESSION, CLIMATE CHANGE AND SOMATIC PSYCHOTHERAPY

What is the connection between Stress, Anxiety and Depression and the political, social and economic problems that we are facing today?

Here is a summary of the main points:

  • We live in a sick society and we are not addressing the root cause.
  • Our whole system is motivated by fear and consequently the most frightened people are the ones most likely to govern and yield power.
  • The door to  constructive change will open if we stop trying to convert others to our point of view.
  • Any attempt on my part to convince you that I am right is counter-productive and contradicts what I am trying to convey.
  • The underlying cause, the underlying and all-embracing dynamic is not climate change but FEAR.
  •  We do not listen to viewpoints that challenge our beliefs because they trigger our fears.
  • Anxiety and depression can be the result of fear and unresolved trauma.They can also be healthy signs that something needs to change.
  • My hope is that somatic psychotherapy can enable us to lessen the hold that our fears have on us so we can proceed rationally.
  • The psychotherapy that I have faith in is one that respects and validates each individual’s values and opinions, not one that tries to adjust us to society.

We live in a sick society and we are not addressing the root cause.

I believe that, with very few exceptions, we are caught up in an endless war and we are not addressing the root cause. read more

Stress and Emotional Wellbeing For Parents, Educators and Practitioners Who Work With Children

YOU CHERISH THE TIME YOU SPEND LOOKING AFTER CHILDREN.
THE QUESTION IS : WHO IS LOOKING AFTER YOU?

Doctors, Nurses, Paramedics and Practitioners in the Healing Professions Please note: If you substitute the word “patients” for children, and “Doctors, Nurses or Paramedics” for Parents, you will find that this also applies to you.

Core Development offers the following to Parents, Educators, and Practitioners who work with children: read more

TO ALL STUDENTS DOING THEIR HSC

PLEASE DO NOT CONFUSE PERFORMANCE WITH SELF ESTEEM

It’s Examination Time Again!!
BEST WISHES TO ALL STUDENTS DOING THEIR HSC

Although this was written primarily for students, it applies to us all.

If you are a student, please remember that, although exam results are important and getting the results you want will make a difference, your value as a human being is neither increased nor diminished by your performance. read more

Exploring Relationships

Individual Sessions, Couples Sessions, Talks and Workshops with Donald Marmara

Core Development offers:

  • Individual Counselling and Psychotherapy( face-to-face, zoom and phone)
  • Somatic Psychotherapy
  • Counselling and Psychotherapy for Parents and Teenagers(together and separately)
  • Couples Counselling and Psychotherapy
  • Talks and workshops for groups and organisations

The artist Chuck Close once said:  “You can give the same recipe to 10 cooks. Some make it come alive, and some make a flat soufflé. A system doesn’t guarantee anything.”

The same applies to relationships. Hundreds of books tell you what to do and not do to make your relationships work. Numerous workshops claim to give you the “secrets” to success. read more

Restoring Our Capacity To Give and Receive Love

This is what my work in emotional learning – including somatic psychotherapy and counselling – is about. Restoring our capacity to give and receive love.

As a society, and indeed as a human race, we have moved so far away from our true nature, from what we know in our hearts – ie that our true nature is loving, cooperative and compassionate – that we we have come to believe that human nature is destructive. read more

Changing Perspectives : Beyond Winning And Losing

“Winning is a loser’s game!”

How do you respond to the statement above?

Do you find yourself agreeing or disagreeing right away?  Or do you stop to think about it?

What is your feeling response?  Are you surprised, irritated, amused, pleased?

What is your bodily response?  Do you sigh?  Do you nod or shake your head?

What happens to your facial expression?  What is your tone of voice when you talk about it? read more

Why Is There So Much Violence In The World Today?

Are We Missing The Point And Making Things Worse?

Fear is what anxiety and depression, wars, domestic violence, relationship breakdowns, child abuse, terrorism, mass shootings, self-harm and all forms of violence towards oneself and others have in common. They are all a result of fear.

In the latter part of this article, I describe  two very simple exercises, well known to many psychotherapists, that could transform the way we relate and communicate. And in my article on “Dealing With Your Emotions”, I explain why I believe these methods are not more widely used .
 read more