This is what my work in emotional learning – including somatic psychotherapy and counselling – is about. Restoring our capacity to give and receive love.
As a society, and indeed as a human race, we have moved so far away from our true nature, from what we know in our hearts – ie that our true nature is loving, cooperative and compassionate – that we we have come to believe that human nature is destructive, and that we have to teach children – and adults – how to be constructive and loving.
Wars – Terrorist Attacks – Anxiety and Depression – Mass Shootings – Domestic Violence – Relationship Breakdowns
In the latter part of this article, I describe two very simple exercises, well known to many psychotherapists, that could transform the way we relate and communicate. And in my article on “Dealing With Your Emotions”, I explain why I believe these methods are not more widely used .
We all need support in getting our needs met. When a child’s behaviour does not meet our expectations, is it helpful to use Behaviour Management Techniques?
Behaviours have a cause and a purpose. When a child behaves in ways that we consider bad or unacceptable, we may resort to behaviour management techniques to change the child’s behaviour.
Experiential Learning and its relevance to Somatic Psychotherapy, Counselling and Education.
by Donald Marmara
I will share an experience that I had when I was 20 years old. This is a true story and one of the formative experiences of my life.
I grew up in Malta, and I happened to meet an interesting guy at a party one night. I started chatting with this man, and discovered that he was one of England’s leading meteorological experts and that he had been hired by the government to help set up a met office in Malta.
Whilst Counselling and Psychotherapy are sometimes seen as ways of helping people adjust to society, and whilst this is what some people may want and some counsellors and psychotherapists may provide, this is not what I do. I do not measure a person’s mental health by how well adjusted they are to society.
When I was 7 years old I asked: “Why were we Humans put on this Planet? All seemed to be going well until we came along!”
Little did I realise what a profound question this was until I grew up and became aware of the extent of my own and others’ emotional and psychological wounding, and how deeply this affected our wellbeing and the way we treat each other and the environment.
So many arguments and discussions, whether in politics, religion, personal relationships, work and everyday life, attempt to deal logically with emotional issues.
When the emotional charge is high, logic has no impact. If anything it can act as an avoidance of the underlying issues, and make things worse. Or it can appear to make sense but nothing actually changes.
I’ve been to many networking events, workshops and seminars that place so much emphasis on being extraordinary that I’d come out feeling that there must be something very wrong with me for not aspiring to reach the dizzy heights of extraordinariness(!) that these people claim to have achieved.
John Steinbeck makes this comment in one of his novels:
“as long as there is a hunger in the stomach, the bombs will continue to fall”.
Yet as a society, we seem to be going around in never-ending circles, dealing with violence rather than with the underlying causes. Often we meet violence with violence. The hunger in the stomach, our physical, emotional, and spiritual needs, are not being met.
(Reported in The Sunday Telegraph ,December 07, 2014)
We continue to treat this as if it were an individual problem, as if there’s something wrong with the children and adults who harm themselves, or who are anxious or depressed.
When will we wake up from our illusion of separation, and acknowledge that this is our problem as a society and indeed as a human race?
